So it's all change in the Holiday Obsessive house. Hubby has got a new job. No longer is he a stressed-out teacher, working all the hours of the day but with amazingly long holidays. He has joined the realms of the normal world, with a quite respectable six weeks holiday a year. What am I to do?
He first mooted the idea of giving up teaching nearly two years ago. I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, schools are a very stressful environment to work in, especially at the moment, and for him to leave that situation could only be a good thing. On the other hand, the idea of losing all those holidays was almost too much to bear.
On an average year, you see, we'd spend eight or nine weeks on holiday - and I don't mean off work, I mean actually on holiday. They wouldn't all be expensive or exotic - some would be downright cheap - but the point is we'd be away from home. We'd have a week in the sun in October half-term - there's something lovely about going somewhere hot when the weather in England is getting colder and the nights are getting longer. We'd have up to a week in February half-term - possibly visiting friends and family. We'd have up to a week again in May half-term - Butlins has been a previous May destination. And we'd have a week or more at Easter, maybe in a cottage somewhere, perhaps in France. The killer, of course, has always been the summer holidays. Over the last few years, we've taken up to five weeks to really explore France and Spain (or Australia the year before last). It sounds extravagant - and I guess it is - but when you're camping, as we usually are, you can spend five weeks on holiday for less than the price of a week's package holiday. The beauty of spending such a long time away is the variety - you get to see so many different places and stay at so many different sites. It can be an adventure holiday, sightseeing trip, beach holiday and city break all in one.
The idea of giving all this up, particularly our long summer break, was not exactly appealing. At first we looked at self-employment options. After all, I'm self-employed and work from home - if I want to take a week or five off work, I can. I don't get paid, however, and that's the crux of it. No income from either of us for five weeks is not really feasible. And so it came to be that, in December, my husband started a normal job. Nine to five, Monday to Friday, six weeks holiday a year. And the really funny thing is I don't mind.
It made me wonder why I'm so holiday-obsessed, and one thing became clear. It's not just about the sun - although this has huge appeal. It's not just about seeing new places and trying new things, although this is something I really love and my bucket list is pretty huge. It's not just about relaxing somewhere and letting other people cook for us - although this is an added bonus. The thing I like best about holidays, sickly but true, is spending quality time with my husband and children away from the stresses of everyday life.
This is why I'm okay with our new reduced holiday allowance. Quality family time on holiday was always so important because we just didn't get it the rest of the time. Anyone who has worked as or lived with a teacher will know how huge the workload is. Evenings were spent marking, planning and doing paperwork. Weekends were spent marking, planning and doing paperwork. Those bits of the weekend that weren't spent working were marred by the very idea of it lurking in the background. Sure, we would go out together as a family at the weekend sometimes, but my husband would be crotchety because he knew it was time he 'should' have been spending working. I remember one lovely Saturday. We had gone to the cinema for the kids' morning matinee, followed by lunch in a restaurant and a wander around the local museum. As we strolled back to the car, and I mused how nice it had been to spend the day together, I noticed my husband was quiet. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me the day had been a waste of time because he hadn't got any work done. That's life with a teacher.
If we spent school holidays at home, work would inevitably creep in. There would be a small amount of catching up on household jobs and then it would be more school work. When he wasn't working, he would be stressing about it. Going away on holiday, however, changed things. Away from home, away from the books and the computer, my husband couldn't do any work. The first couple of days of any holiday would always be a little uncomfortable. He would get itchy feet while he adjusted to not being able to do any work. And then it would change. He would relax. We could spend days together as a family, happy, laughing, enjoying life. Sure, the kids would drive us mad and holidays aren't without their own stresses, but it's a whole different world to the stresses of being at home.
So this is why I'm okay with having fewer and shorter holidays. I'll miss seeing so many new places, I'll miss eating hotel food, I'll miss the tremendous variety that a five-week holiday allows. (I wont miss our October sun - that holiday is sacrosanct and we won't be giving it up!) But I won't miss the family time because we now have it every weekend. No longer are evenings and weekends for work - now they're for chilling out in front of the TV or a film, going for walks, playing board games and eating pub lunches. Now they're for going to the cinema and wandering round a museum without feeling like we're wasting time. This time together is priceless, particularly while our children are so young. I never thought I'd say it, holiday obsessive that I am, but this regular time together is worth a thousand holidays.
Plus, free weekends equals lots of mini-break opportunities, right?!
