Priorities

Once upon a time, before children, we were fairly comfortably off. My husband and I both worked full time in teaching, him in a management position, and we brought in decent wages. Our house was smaller, meaning a relatively smaller mortgage and lower rates and bills. Our outgoings were few, and we had less time to spend the money we brought in. This meant that if we wanted or needed something, we could usually afford it, from clothes to repairs to home improvements. We went out for dinner regularly, as well as the cinema, theatre, pub, etc, and we actually had savings. It also meant we had money to spare for holidays, and we made the most of it. We weren't extravagant by many people's standards - 3 or 4 stars rather than 5 - but we did enjoy the opportunity to holiday wherever we fancied visiting rather than simply wherever we could afford.

Roll on several years and, like most families, we are in a somewhat different financial position. Along with children come increased outgoings, from basics like food and clothes to school uniform, extra-curricular activities and Christmas and birthday presents. More family members means a bigger car and a bigger house, and consequently higher mortgage payments or rent and bigger bills. For those families where both parents work full-time (or even part-time), childcare takes a huge chunk of earnings, and for those families where a parent gives up work or works part-time in order to look after the children, the income is of course much reduced. And most importantly - in relation to this blog - holidays are suddenly much more expensive. After the age of two, children have to pay for a seat on a plane (very often full-price). You need bigger rooms in hotels or bigger cottages to rent. You have to pay double the admission charge for many attractions. After the age of 12 (sometimes lower), children are counted as adults in the pricing for many holidays (and they're often charged the same as adults anyway). And if you want to travel anywhere during school holidays, expect to pay four times the price (this is no exaggeration).

So how do you manage to go on holiday, given all the financial limitations of having a family? I know some people wonder how I can afford to keep going away, or why we struggle with money for some things yet still have enough to go on holiday. The answer is pretty simple: it's all about priorities. Of course, we also do our best to holiday cheaply - we cut corners and search for bargains where we can, and I'll share some tips for this in a future blog. But even the cheapest holiday is only doable if it's a priority. Don't get me wrong - we don't put having a holiday ahead of food, bills or other essentials. You won't find me scrabbling in the bargain bin in the supermarket to pay for half a night in a hotel, or sending my children to school in shoes with holes to pay for the luggage allowance for a flight. Nor do we go without on the whole. However, for items and purchases that are non-essential, we are quite careful - and picky - with our spending. Of course, we try to save in all the usual ways - using comparison sites for insurance, using a cashback card, looking for money-off deals when we can. But it's more about what we choose to prioritise, and it's rarely material things. We have absolutely no interest in branded products; although I admit there are exceptions, I'm not convinced you always get what you pay for, and more times than not you're paying for a name and not for quality. And if I'm honest, I'm not always that bothered about quality either. I'm very happy to buy my clothes at Primark or other cheap shops, and I love picking up a bargain in a charity shop. I buy my shampoo and shower gel in the supermarket, and my make-up is Avon, not Clinique. We don't have an X-box or PlayStation, my phone is still an iPhone 5 (£15 a month pay-as-you-go) and the boys use a cheap tablet. We don't have Sky or any of those other expensive subscription services - we're quite happy with Freeview, although we have more recently started 'splashing out' on an almighty £5 a month for Netflix! We buy second-hand cars and we drive them until they die and we have no option but to replace them. We still need to redecorate most of the house after having it re-wired over two years ago. We need new patio doors, a new sofa, a new front door, a new shower and new carpets. The thing is, much as we'd like to replace these things, drive newer cars or upgrade our phones, we could only afford to do it at the expense of holidays. It's a simple choice - and the holidays win every time! Those who know me will recall that a while back we spent over a year without heating or hot water - no joke. Our boiler had had it - in fact, so had our whole central heating system. We would have had to save up and go without holidays for a VERY long time to afford to replace it, and we simply weren't willing to do that. We could get by without central heating - we had a gas fire in the lounge, we bought a couple of electric heaters and I took my hot water bottle everywhere with me. We could get by without hot water - we had an electric shower, a dishwasher and a kettle, and I don't much like baths anyway. What we couldn't get by without was holidays. After a few months without a holiday of some sort, I'm feeling antsy. I can't imagine how I'd feel going a year or more. I have no idea how anyone else manages it. I know most of my friends thought we were mad. We probably were. But it was a simple matter of priorities - we'd rather go on holiday than have a functioning boiler. 

So when it comes to holidays, it very often boils down to a matter of priorities. Of course, this is a gross oversimplification - holidays are bloody expensive, especially when children are involved, and I know not everyone can afford to go away, regardless of how much they scrimp and save on everything else. I'm well aware that there are many people who struggle to afford to pay for food, let alone holidays, and of course I'm not advocating that they - or anyone - let their children starve to pay for a holiday. I know I'm very lucky to have a secure home and enough of a regular income to cover the basic necessities and be able to choose what to do with the excess. But choice is what it often comes down to for those living relatively comfortably on a reasonable income. Many people would prefer to spend their money on clothes, Sky or an iPhone X. Me - I'd rather go on holiday than have heating or hot water. Hey, we're all different. I know I'm in a minority, but I'd happily sacrifice a whole bunch of things in exchange for a holiday. I'm not suggesting that everybody should follow my example, unless they too are holiday-obsessives - we all have our priorities for what to spend our money on, and holidays probably aren't most people's. But when people think they can't afford to go on holiday, sometimes, maybe, it's just that they don't want to enough.